When I Came Up From Out of the Meat-Locker...

...the City Was Gone.



Archives kick ass...

...as does Nick Cave.

I think I might have mentioned that one before...

I like it here.

A Song About My Hometown(s)

Feeling a little nostalgic after yesterday's show here.

Listen...

It's called "Chapel Hill." It's by Sonic Youth.

"...and The Char-Grill Killers..." I am one of them.

Jesse Helms is also referenced, and not in a good way. Evil fuck that he was. May we never see the likes of him again...

And that Bozo guy too. Fucking clowns...

Angela Ryan on the left, after makeup, on the right, in makeup.

May we see the likes of her more and more often...

The magic of photography and a great team! Thanks Anna!

Independence Day (Something I Saw Today...)

NYC style...and UPLIFTING!

Kim forgot the lyrics to "Drunken Butterfly" off of "Dirty" and Thurston's response was awesome...

"Sing that shit twice, just do it..."

They also played "World Looks Red," "Schizophrenia," and the 4th side of "Daydream Nation." That's right, bitches, the 4th side...

Happy fourth of july...for whatever it's worth.

And oh, by the way, Jesse Helms FINALLY fucking died! As a liberal son of Raleigh, North Carolina, I raise a toast to the Grim Reaper!

But god, Mr. Reaper, what took you so long?

Panic Attack Symptoms

Double feature this morning of Olivier Assayas' "Boarding Gate" and Sidney Lumet's "Before The Devil Knows You're Dead."

Bad idea.

Don't get me wrong, they are both with their merits. "Boarding Gate" stars Asia Argento, who gets my vote for skank I would most want to molest, and "Before the Devil" is an amazing film...

...it's just that they were both profoundly depressing. I should know better, but I don't.

And now I'm listening to Radiohead's most uplifting album, "In Rainbows" and it's bumming me out.

The spiral heads distinctly downward...

It's how I'm wired, it's how I roll, it's how I am.

Fuck.

Played some gratifying games of pool tonight, drank some gratifying drinks tonight, talked to some beautiful friends tonight, but still, here I am...

...fine, and with my greatest gifts. Like Angela Ryan (above).

Just down.

At least I can admit it.

July 4th - too many memories, fuck July 4th.

Independence - from what? We are shackled, or at least we shackle ourselves...

This Take...Don't Give a Fuck...

Kind of how I feel right now...

Billy Corgan's spoken outro to the beautiful mess that is "Silverfuck" off of their ONE masterpiece, "Siamese Dream." Which is redundant, but I felt the need to mention that I don't really like The Pumpkins' other work.

Don't know what this has to do with anything, except for the fact that I was digitizing a bunch of CDs from the "S" section tonight (Sonic Youth, Swearing At Motorists, Slint, The Shins, The Smiths...) and I came across it and remembered how much I love this album. And that's about it for their catalog - although I did like the photos on that later one - what was it called - where D'arcy had the see-through dress on. She's hot - I want to shoot her...

Whatever.

Been scanning pictures of Scar.

Here's several. Konica Auto-Reflex half-frame. Fuji 1600 color shit.

Gotta go watch a movie or talk on the HATEFUL phone or something - I'm bored.

'Cause the Game is Never Won By Standing in Any One Place for Too Long

Fretful day. Bad cellphone replacement. The whole time the dude was "selling" me I felt like I was getting shafted - thanks AT&T!

I hate my new cellphone. I don't know how to increase the volume, or how to send a quick text. But man, it'll take a 2 megapixel "photo" in a fucking heartbeat...

GREAT...

I just want to be able to talk to the few people that I want to talk to.
I guess tomorrow I should read the instruction manual...

And it only cost me $50.00 - thanks AT&T!

Angela (in the photo above) is coming to visit NYC in July and staying with me. My girl is coming down to shoot with her and The Chipsta will be here as well. I normally hate playing host - really - but she is so godammed cute (and I mean in her demeanor) that I'm really looking forward to showing this girl from Newfoundland a real cool time.

And I'll have help. My girl has all sorts of plans for her (which will go unmentioned), and The Chipsta is shooting her here, etc...

She asked me tonight if we "could go see drag queens?"

So godammed cute...we will.

Here's another Nick Cave nugget from his new album. Listen quickly before the MPAA shuts my ass down. And buy "Dig!!! Lazarus Dig!!!" - It's a masterpiece.

Listen.

"I stepped out of the St. James hotel
And I left you behind curled up like a child
A change is gonna come
And as the door whispered shut
I walked on down the high-windowed hall

You lay sleeping on the unmade bed
The weatherman on the television in the St. James hotel said
That the rains are gonna come
And I stepped out on the streets
All sparkling clean with the early morning dew

Maybe it was you or maybe it was me?
You came on like a punch in the heart
Lying there with the light on your hair
Like a Jesus of the moon
A Jesus of the planets and the stars

Well, I kept thinking about what the weatherman said
And if the voices of the living can be heard by the dead
Well, the day is gonna come when we find out
And in some kind of way I take a little comfort from that
Now and then

'Cause people often talk about being scared of change
But for me I'm more afraid of things staying the same
'Cause the game is never won
By standing in any one place
For too long

Maybe it was you or maybe it was me?
But there was a chord in you that I could not find to strike
You lying there with all the light in your hair
Like a Jesus of the moon
A Jesus of the planets and the stars

I see the many girls walking down the empty streets
Maybe once or twice one of them smiles at me
You can't blame anyone for saying hello
I say hey
I say hello… I say hello…

Will it be me or will it be you?
One must stay and one must depart
You lying there in the St. James hotel bed
Like a Jesus of the moon
A Jesus of the planets and the stars

I say hello... hello... hello..."

I Wish I Could Close My Eyes and Stop This Room From Moving...

Developed four rolls (Angela, Scar, Sibyl and Sara) tonight myself with the help of a very good friend. Eleven minutes in Rodinal, five minutes of fixer, thirty minutes washing, an hour and a half drying and hanging...

In the meantime:

Had a conversation with my friend's Super about heart palpitations and wine and wodka...enlightening, but only in the "dude, you're still smoking a cigarette" kind of way...

Watched four hours of "South Park" - all the most intense episodes...

Cellphone died...not the battery but the speaker. I CAN'T HEAR YOU anymore.

So off to Cingular tomorrow and hoping that my cellphone "insurance" will pay for a new CAMERA phone.

FUCK. New York City, me and my shit...

Regardless, the negs look great. The second time in twenty years I've developed my own. The first time was last week. Thanks, Chris.

The room is not moving. That's from a Martina Topley-Bird song that I'm listening to right now. Her new album is due out in the US any day now (let me check) shit, US release date not available...

Here's the album cover, or at least the UK album cover.



I want to shoot her.

Great weekend, with some not-so-great moments...

Sleep now...

There is nothing sexier than a girl wearing nothing but my shirt. Jus' sayin'...