Saturday, January 05, 2008

Drug Delivery System: 2008, Part Two


This is my newest, most favorite photograph that I've ever taken.

Might be personally defining. I KNOW it is. It was taken in my living room.

Fuji NPZ800 120.

Mr. Dulli continues to speak to me and helps get me through this shit. I said this to Lauren in Raleigh over the "holidays" - there are two themes in his work. One - he got fucked over. Two - he fucked someone over.

I didn't fuck no one over. No one. Ever.

So, I like half of his work right now. I'll keep the other half for when I do fuck someone over. It's good, too.

I've never appreciated his current and back catalog as much as I do now.

It's nice when your personal poets come to your rescue.

Bravery.

I stole a ticket to see him on Valentine's Day tonight. Sold out show.

I don't have any idea what I'm gonna do next, but I'm gonna do something, I promise, I'm gonna do something.

Might be move to Berlin. Might be sell my ass on 23rd Street. Might just sit here and work out my anger through my work and my personal motivations. Might join a Monastery. Might do heroin. Might, might, might...

Probably will just try to find comfort in my new life. Somehow. Somewhere. Someone. My friends.

Did I mention this: friends are important.

I think I did.

I don't think anything is funny anymore. And I've got a great sense of humor. Every little thing is so profoundly upsetting, so poignant, so stupid, so human, so insane.

My New Year's Resolution? All filters off. To say, act and create exactly what I feel - everyone else be damned.

Fuck you.

Stay tuned.

Angst isn't pretty.

Here's how Dulli felt:

"Since you're aware of the consequences
I can pimp what's left of this wreck on you
Bit into a rotten one, now didn't you?
Now I can watch you chew
Did you have blinders on my dear
Or were you just willing?
Or was I unaware of the damage a lie can do?
I thought you knew
Listen up
Drive it off
Punctuate it with a smoker's cough
Light it up
Stick around
I told you somebody's going down, now
Spit it up
Get it out
Let me kiss that beautiful mouth
Tell me is it the same?
My sweetness, my everything
And is this condescending a comfort at all to you?
We bit into a rotten one
Now didn't we?
Well, baby now it's through"

11 comments:

bt said...

Ahh...after a big tall margarita...and as I finish a small bowl of "Salad". (cough...cough)...i am reading your blog. Its seems to make perfect sense.

bt

Anonymous said...

Speaking on behalf of the anonymous ones, your angst is not pretty or enjoyable. It's just...life.

Hang in there James.
Your ass is too cute to sell, and joining a monastery would be a terrible waste.

BLISS said...

Whenever I'm down
I call on you my friend
A helping hand you lend
In my time of need

Whenever I'm down
I call on you my friend
(I call on you my friend)
(I call on you my friend)

Whenever I'm down
And all that's going on
Is really going on
Just one of those days (and ju-h..)

You say the right things
To keep me moving on
To keep me going strong
(going strong)
(going strong)

Whenever I'm down

Ain't nobody
(body)
Ain't nobody
(body)
GROOVE ARMADA lyrics-My Friend

angst is a bitch
that disfigures us all

Stacy Leigh said...

filters suck.



; )

d.l. wood said...

Let us not look back in anger or forward in fear, but around in awareness.
Author: James Thurber

D.L. Wood

Meagan Sample said...

*yawns and stretches*

you got dr pepper?

Fabian said...

I just discover your blog.
I am an instant fan of your work.

Anonymous said...

Sell your ass to Fabian.

See how it all suddenly becomes clear?

Varvara said...

http://pics.livejournal.com/madcitychel/pic/000pdhrt.jpg

D.L. Wood said...

As I have checked back to see a new post, I have pondered the image and feel it has a real 70's look to it, especially with the albums in the back ground.

D.L. Wood

Anonymous said...

Thank fuck for personal poets. For me it was W. Somerset Maugham. Hope you're doing well James, thanks for sharing. Darren