Ho Ho Fucking Ho

My sister and I from a year ago.
She's still this cute.
I am not.

There's Gonna Come a Time When I'm Gonna Have to Go with Whoever 's Gonna Get Me the Highest

This is me signing off until right before the end of the year.

Tomorrow I hire a car service to pick me up in Park Slope and drive me to JFK ($45.00). There, I will check my light kit (sans bulbs - I will carry those on and use them to slash the throats of the Infidels!) and suitcase, while carrying my Lowell Softlight and camera bag full of Neopan 1600 that they have to check one roll at a time (oh joy!), through HOMELAND SECURITY. That is always a HOOT!

Jet Blue JFK-RDU and back ($278.60) - My Dad will pick me up in Raleigh in his Jag. My Dad just turned 74 and he bought his Jag two years ago. He should have bought it when he was 44, but solidly middle-class is he, as am I, thanks to him. I always ask him how fast he's gotten it up to, and he always tells me and says not to tell my Mom. Like I would even think of it. But the fact that my father is opening up the silver feline all up I-40's ass makes me smile. It's about time. Go, Dad, go...

It took awhile before he offered me the keys, not that I was chompin' at the bit. I'm scared of my Dad's car for two reasons. 1) If I fuck it up - and this includes a shopping cart ding at Food Town, I am out of the will - HARD CORE black sharpie through my name and my sister gets EVERYTHING and just laughs at me and says something like you shouldn't have driven the Jag and, 2) I don't want to look like an asshole. Some privileged yuppie scum. I'm not, and hell, I already said how my Dad waited 30 years too long, but the fact is, in Cary NC - everybody drives a stupidly expensive car. And most of them look like dicks doing it.

NYC would eat almost all of them alive. Like a wood chipper. Potentially interesting experiment. For me...and my friend Rich Goldstein...It would take two of us to shove them all in...

My Dad will drive me home, where I will see my sister, who is a lovable freak, my mother, who is one of the sweetest and smartest people in the world, and my grandmother (my Mom's Mom) who turned 92 this year and is sweeter than my Mom, but only because she gets to pull rank.

And that's where I'll be until the 29th of December, when my girl and I return to NYC (car service- another $45.00)

My last shoot of the year is in Greensboro, NC with Uma von Diehl this Friday. It should be one of my most interesting shoots of the entire year and a fitting end to 2006. I’ve been invited to exhibit in the Dirty Detroit extravaganza this year and I’m hoping it’s gonna be all Uma. We’ll see…Google both Uma and Dirty Detroit, if you are the least bit interested...

Oh wait, I'm shooting with my friend Naomi on the 30th - well, Uma is the next to last shoot...

The title of this post is from The Hold Steady. They kick ass.

Photo caption contest!
What the HELL is going on here? Is it a print ad for cat food (clue) or just a snap of a crazy stuffed duck? The winner gets a mention here and a beer the next time I see them. Pretty swanky, hunh?

Light Rain

The Leaving Trains.
Mostly out of print, mostly fading away.
One of the best bands of ALL TIME.

"The phone had a ring to it. I knew just what she said. You shot up again light rain. Can you hear anything I say? Can you hear anything at all?"

Falling James is the shit.

So is Alysa.

Right here, right now.

Roll Over Beethoven...

...and tell Pytor Ilyich the news.

Last night I went up to 145th Street to shoot a "Chair" shot with Alysa and a concept shot as well. As Alysa was telling me a story about Aaron Hawks running out of battery power shooting her in this very same apartment almost one week before, my batteries died.

Really.

So, after going to the PathMart from hell and procuring more batteries, we were able to continue the shoot. After half an hour and me sweating from running up the hill...

I told Alysa that she was a battery vampire. Zwetschke giggled.

Alysa last night in Harlem.
Makeup by Zwetschke.
This is one of the concept shots.

And Tell Me Where Is The Love In What Your Prophet Has Said?

Scatter. Static. Sushi.

Crazy days pass short light divining.
Oh, seven seems so far away.

Yep.

Didya hear? I still can't play the guitar. Never will be able to.

The photo is Melanie. She is a genius.

Title of this entry by stupid, dead Jeff Buckley. I'm only mad at him because I'd kill to hear his new album right about now. He was also a genius. And he went swimming in the Mississippi River drunk, when no one goes swimming in the Mississippi River, sober or drunk.

I'm maybe a little bit jealous. I'll let you wonder about which part.

"And I've got a message for you and your twisted hell
You better turn around and blow your kiss goodbye to life eternal angel..."

Appearing Tonight

My soon to be buddy (he's gonna shoot me naked in the streets of NYC, but that's another post), Gary Breckheimer, an amazing photographer here in NYC, emailed me last night congratulating me for a NOMINEE AWARD in the 2007 Spider Awards.

This is who they are, according to their website:

"The Black and White Spider Awards is the leading international award honoring excellence in black and white photography. This celebrated event shines a spotlight on the best professional and amateur photographers worldwide and honors the finest images with the highest achievements in black and white photography. Celebrating its 4th year, the Awards are juried by the world's most prestigious curators, auctioneers, editors, and dealers of black and white photography, including captains of the industry from Magnum Photos, Leica Gallery, Bonni Benrubi, PDN, Man Ray Trust, LIFE Magazine, Communication Arts, Fratelli Alinari, Tate Gallery and Hamiltons of London."

So I sent them some shots back in, shit, I don't know, May? June?

Anyway, Gary was right - he got two NOMINEES - I did get a NOMINEE for Professional Fine Art (which is neither 1st, 2nd, 3rd or Honorable Mention, so it's sort of like being recognized as a contender), and they are printing it their Annual hardback book, which, as a NOMINEE, I can buy for $30.00 or something. And it's the Pigtail shot, which is my girl, which makes me happy...

Look, it's cool and all, but unless one of those folks from The Tate wants to mount a show of my shit, it really ain't gonna amount to anything more than another AWARDS entry on my website. This and $1.00 will get me? At the Cadillac dealership? Thank god for the TASCHEN thing...

Which brings me to my point.

So does any of this really mean anything? I'm gonna still do what I do as long as I can afford to do it, and I am in a really good space to do that with all my "beauty industry" work. What is the Holy Grail? Is it financial independence? Is it getting the chance to photograph Kate Moss (and I don't care if she is on the coke)? Is it some sort of status in the photographic world?

Creative freedom. That's what it is. The end all be all doesn't exist at all not even for Neil Young. He got sued by Geffen Records for "being un-Neil Young-like” back in the late 80's/early 90's and won.

Justice. Hmmmm...

It does mean something to me. It is creative expression. I am making films one frame at a time. I am meeting fantastically creative people. I am embarking on the next step.

I have no idea what is coming next, creatively. But I'll think of something and it might suck a bunch of ass.

But it'll be fun. While it lasts.

I would like my parents to see it when it happens.

The photo is of the awards to be given away to the blood and rain and smoke and sweat and gasoline soaked participants in "The World's Largest Demolition Derby" in upstate NY, August 2005. Man, those people LOVED them...My friend Michael (see link at right) and I went up and spent a week photographing these lovable freaks. And that's a whole 'nother blog...

Sister, I Need Wine

"Sister, I need wine
For color in my skin
And darkness for my eyes
But I can see the light burn through
Still it is the night brings me to you

Sister, use your gift
The backed up river spreads
On ground for fighting words
And I am hating the ignorance in my body
And I can't feed on the heaviness
Sister, I need you

And we will dance for gold
And straddle the hour of fear
And learn the real story
Drink the truth
Shed not one tear"

- The lyrics are Guided By Voices. The photo is me of Darenzia.

God damn, I'm tired.

Some May Ray Kind of Sky

It gets dark way too early on the East Coast on December 7th, 2006.

I did that thing where I listened to NPR (KCRW - see link to the right) all day long so I had this false sense of security. You know, all day people were telling me that the way that I think about things (freedom of everything as long as no one gets hurt) is the way everyone else is thinking about things and I got lulled. I guess I gotta stay the course...

I heard Idiot Boy's "Presidential" press conference with Tony Blair and was particularly offended by his "It’s bad in Iraq. Does that help?" attack, but shit, that's just stayin' the course. A trapped animal with (Borat accent) brain the size of walnut (end BORAT accent) ALWAYS responds this way. My monkey dick is bigger than yours because I am who I am and I have this job that a bunch of people wanted me to have. And I am ONLY smart enough to know that I am scared.

National security. War on terrorism. Middle East peace.
Give me a fucking break.

I am not scared. I just want to take pitchers.

Neither was Scar when she strutted up and down the conference room table at 148 Madison Avenue, 9th Floor, between 31st and 32nd all those years ago...

I Think I Have a Thing for Furniture

A girl, a chair, a loft in SoHo and me.

Scheduling the last shoots for 2006 now. Not sure how much I'll shoot in January - gotta focus on gallery show, Chairs book and Bunny thing. I also have to get the fucking IRS off my back, and that, my friends, is a full-time gig.

"That is some serious poetry, man!"

My single-most favorite quote from Danny Sugarman's "No One Here Gets Out Alive."

(Although, now, looking through it, on page 61, after Morrison recites "Moonlight Drive" to Manzarek, Ray says, "Those are the greatest fuckin' song lyrics I've ever heard. Let's start a rock 'n' roll band and make a million dollars.")

Recreated purrfectly in Ollie Stone's stoned rock/bio/picture/thing.

(Which is where I think I heard the "serious poetry" thing, or shit, man, it might be that Time/Life "History of Rock" thing I have on VHS...whatever...the point is that Ray SAID IT!)

Here's some serious poetry man, courtesy of The Hold Steady.

It's called "Cattle & The Creeping Things," a take on some book that a bunch of folks writ a long time ago that still fucks with me and people I love. And people I don't know that I wish would just think about themselves and the ones they love more often and LESS about the THE BABY JESUS.

JESUS!

It goes like this:

2-3-4

"They got to the part with the cattle and the creeping things.
They said I'm pretty sure we've heard this one before.
Don't it all end up in some revelation?
With 4 guys on horses, and violent red visions famine and death and pestilence and war.
I'm pretty sure I heard this one before.
You in the corner with a good looking drifter.
Two cups of coffee and ten packs of sugar.
I heard Gideon saw you in Denver.
He said you're contagious.
Silly rabbit.
Tripping is for teenagers.
Murder is for murderers.
And hard drugs are for bartenders.
I think I might have mentioned that before.

He's got the pages in his pockets that he ripped out of the Bible from his bedstand in the motel.
He likes the part where the traders get chased out from the temple.
I guess I heard about original sin.
I heard the dude blamed the chick.
I heard the chick blamed the snake.
I heard they were naked when they got busted.
I heard things ain't been the same since.
You on the streets with a tendency to preach to the choir.
Wired for sound and down with whatever.
I heard Gideon did you in Denver.

She's got a cross around her neck that she ripped off from a schoolgirl in the subway on a visit to the city.
She likes how it looks on her chest with three open buttons.
She likes the part where one brother kills the other.
She has to wonder if the world ever will recover.
Because Cain and Abel seem to still be causing trouble.

She said: I was seeing double for three straight days after I got born again it felt strange but it was nice and peaceful.
It really pleased me to be around so many people.
Of course half were just visions but half of them were friends from going thru the program with me.
Later on we did some sexy things.
Took a couple photographs and carved them into wood reliefs.
But that's enough about me.
Tell me how you got down here into Ybor City.

He said: I got thru the part about the exodus.
Up to then I only knew it was a movement of the people.
But if small town cops are like swarms of flies and if blackened foil is like boils and hail.
Then I'm pretty sure we've been thru this before.

And it seemed like a simple place to score.
And it seemed like a simple place to score.
And it seemed like a simple place to score.
Then some old lady came to the door and said McKenzie Phillips doesn't live here anymore."

The photo is one of those scary two thousand dollar light things that you see in SoHo photographed by me tonight in a friend of Sarah's SoHo apartment while he was out of town.

Cool, 'cause she got all naked and shit...

Dandy

Amber is.

Last night in Queens, NY.

Dinosaurs Are Real!

The Steamer Amadeo (1893), grounded 1932 in front of Estancia San Gregorio, Chile.

The Amadeo´s last cruise around Cape Horn and Patagonia ended in disaster. Along the coastal highway between Punta Arenas (Chile) and Rio Gallegos (Argentina), many vessels seem to have shared her fate, including The Ambassador, beached 50 feet away from it.

"Visit to Pali Aike National Park, 195 kilometers northeast of Punta Arenas. Leaving this city by international route 255, along the edge of Magellan Strait, there is first visit to historical monument and ancient cattle establishment San Gregorio and steamer Amadeo, beached in the Strait (124 km. from Punta Arenas). Continuing the trip up to km. 166, there is left detour to Punta Delgada, main town of San Gregorio."

Link.