Appearing Tonight

My soon to be buddy (he's gonna shoot me naked in the streets of NYC, but that's another post), Gary Breckheimer, an amazing photographer here in NYC, emailed me last night congratulating me for a NOMINEE AWARD in the 2007 Spider Awards.

This is who they are, according to their website:

"The Black and White Spider Awards is the leading international award honoring excellence in black and white photography. This celebrated event shines a spotlight on the best professional and amateur photographers worldwide and honors the finest images with the highest achievements in black and white photography. Celebrating its 4th year, the Awards are juried by the world's most prestigious curators, auctioneers, editors, and dealers of black and white photography, including captains of the industry from Magnum Photos, Leica Gallery, Bonni Benrubi, PDN, Man Ray Trust, LIFE Magazine, Communication Arts, Fratelli Alinari, Tate Gallery and Hamiltons of London."

So I sent them some shots back in, shit, I don't know, May? June?

Anyway, Gary was right - he got two NOMINEES - I did get a NOMINEE for Professional Fine Art (which is neither 1st, 2nd, 3rd or Honorable Mention, so it's sort of like being recognized as a contender), and they are printing it their Annual hardback book, which, as a NOMINEE, I can buy for $30.00 or something. And it's the Pigtail shot, which is my girl, which makes me happy...

Look, it's cool and all, but unless one of those folks from The Tate wants to mount a show of my shit, it really ain't gonna amount to anything more than another AWARDS entry on my website. This and $1.00 will get me? At the Cadillac dealership? Thank god for the TASCHEN thing...

Which brings me to my point.

So does any of this really mean anything? I'm gonna still do what I do as long as I can afford to do it, and I am in a really good space to do that with all my "beauty industry" work. What is the Holy Grail? Is it financial independence? Is it getting the chance to photograph Kate Moss (and I don't care if she is on the coke)? Is it some sort of status in the photographic world?

Creative freedom. That's what it is. The end all be all doesn't exist at all not even for Neil Young. He got sued by Geffen Records for "being un-Neil Young-like” back in the late 80's/early 90's and won.

Justice. Hmmmm...

It does mean something to me. It is creative expression. I am making films one frame at a time. I am meeting fantastically creative people. I am embarking on the next step.

I have no idea what is coming next, creatively. But I'll think of something and it might suck a bunch of ass.

But it'll be fun. While it lasts.

I would like my parents to see it when it happens.

The photo is of the awards to be given away to the blood and rain and smoke and sweat and gasoline soaked participants in "The World's Largest Demolition Derby" in upstate NY, August 2005. Man, those people LOVED them...My friend Michael (see link at right) and I went up and spent a week photographing these lovable freaks. And that's a whole 'nother blog...