More Than You Think You Will

"I've been dragging around..."

Cover Star: Kate.
Headlining Band: The National

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Live Alone

So, a couple of weeks ago, I got on the Q Train and sat next to this older black lady. And all the way over the Manhattan Bridge I noticed she's 'making something' and working really hard at it.

So, I asked her what she's doing, which I never do. I never talk to anyone on the subway. If you are a New Yorker, you get that. At least I hope you do, and if you don't, well, you're probably from Raleigh, North Carolina.

So, I ask her what she's doing and she says "making a devil fish."

That's compelling.

We had a long conversation about the devil fish, which I finally determined was a SCORPION, (look it up) and we laughed and slapped our knees. Except she kept winding the lanyard plastic into a devil fish - the whole time.

I reached my stop and told her that I had to get off the train. And she said, "I want you to have this."

Unfinished devil fish. I should have gone three more stops.

I should have done a lot of things differently.

Recognize the gift.

"Hanging from chandeliers, same small world at your heels."

Cover Star: "Devil Fish".
Headlining Band: ughhhh...

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Why I Chose Science...

Thursday night in the universe...a festival. A parade.

Cover Star: Local 138.
Headlining Band: Beth Gibbons.

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This Is What You Want, This Is What You Get

"In sociology and social psychology, Impression Management is a goal-directed conscious or unconscious process in which people attempt to influence the perceptions of other people about a person, object or event; they do so by regulating and controlling information in social interaction. It is usually used synonymously with self-presentation, in which a person tries to influence the perception of their image."

In one of those one in a million cab rides late Wednesday night, I fell into a discussion with Ivan, my driver for the moment. I don't really remember how we got there, but he began to tell me about the theory of Impression Management. The nuances of Impression Management are fascinating - Hitler was a fantastic Impression Manager and your waiter last night also did his share to allow you to enjoy your meal. Ivan was a godsend. Or maybe he was just managing my impression of him...?

Do you like me? No? Well, what about me?

"There are two main motives that govern self-presentation. One is instrumental: we want to influence others and gain rewards. There are three instrumental goals. The first is Ingratiation, when we try to be happy and display our good qualities so that others will like us. The second is Intimidation, which is aggressively showing anger to get others to hear and obey us. The third is Supplication, when we try to be vulnerable and sad so people will help us and feel bad for us.

The second motive of self-presentation is expressive. We construct an image of ourselves to claim personal identity, and present ourselves in a manner that is consistent with that image. If we feel like this is restricted, we exhibit reactance. We try to assert our freedom against those who would seek to curtail our self-presentation expressiveness. A classic example is the idea of the “preacher’s daughter;” the notion that her suppressed personal identity and emotions cause an eventual backlash at her family and community.

Concerning the strategies followed to establish a certain impression, the main distinction is between defensive and assertive strategies. Whereas defensive strategies include behaviors like avoidance of threatening situations or means of self-handicapping, assertive strategies refer to more active behavior like the verbal idealization of the self, the use of status symbols or similar practices."

Ingratiation, Intimidation, Supplication.

Sound familiar?

"Impression management can distort the results of empirical research that relies on interviews and surveys, a phenomenon commonly referred to as "social desirability bias"."

No shit.

I'm a confident liar.

Cover Star: Cat.
Headlining Band: PIL.

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Vampirella

I want another shoot...

Scar? Anyone?

Cover Star: Scar.
Headlining Band: The Yardbirds.

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It's a Hollywood Summer

Hot.

Too hot.

Sweat through your clothes hot.

I talked to my folks tonight and had a very candid conversation about my life - complete with curse words - only used appropriately and as punctuation.

My mother brought up work, my girlfriend and therapy. I love my mother for doing that, and she probably doesn't even know that.

Seeing The National on Tuesday 12 blocks from my house. I'm excited about the show, but conflicted about the company. Either everything will be ok or there will be an atomic explosion in Prospect Park. Mushroom cloud. Or silence.

I'd obviously prefer silence.

I don't want to fight anyone anymore. Ever.

Try not to wonder what the weather will be.

Black Dreams...

And on the music tip: "High Violet" is officially a masterpiece.

Cover Star: Scar.
Headlining Band: Da National.

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Slobber

Once again, my heart says no and my head says yes.

I don't know what to do...

...tomorrow won't be pretty. Some sideshow to do, I told my friends not to worry.

Don't worry. Worry...

Paris.

The storm will suck the pretty girls into the sky.

Cover Star: Bike.
Headlining Band: Conor & Gillian.

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I'm Here - Anemic and Sweet...So...

...let me shoot you, shooting!

Not really.

I'm NOT a documentary photographer - AT ALL!

Although if I shoot enough crap, I do tend to manage to get a shot or two.

This is my friend, the VERY TALENTED, Vernon Trent on a shoot in BUMFUCK Philadelphia. Don't even get Scott Nichol and I started on the "coffee run" - thanks again, Scott. If you hadn't been my "ghetto wingman" I'd a killed a muthafucka.

Anyway, I digress.

Vernon, Scott and Mike Cary were shooting the wonderful figure models Amber, whom I met for the first time that day, and Candace, whom I've photographed 'several' times. Several.

In situations like this, I'm always "off the clock." So I sat and observed and had some fine Philly wine.

But I did have one of my Olympus mju 35mm point-and-shoots with me. And one roll of Neopan 1600. And a flash that was malfunctioning. Whatever, have some more wine, James.

To my previous point, most of the shots from that one lonesome roll that I scanned this evening are, uhmmm, what's the word? Oh yeah...SHIT. NOT my fault, mind you, as I did mention the malfunctioning...whatever, have some more wine, James.

Anyway. The point of all this drivel is twofold: 1) I've shot two very, very good friends' weddings as a favor and the shots pretty much kicked ass, since there was a dumb (no offense anyone) wedding photo-grapher there anyway, and I could sneak around and take shots of cool shit. So point 1) is this: I do all right in the right circumstances. Whatever, have some more wine, James. AND point 2) is this: it was a pleasure watching Vernon and Scott shoot and Amber and Candace do what they do best.

I guess what I'm saying is that I felt privileged to be a fly on the couch with a wine glass. Thanks guys and gals! And no, Lorna, I haven't forgotten you.

And Amber, sorry about THAT cinnamon latte - Dunkin Donuts really doesn't make a latte, nor do they have cheese, Candace, despite their subway ads on the Q train...and Scott can back me up on that one.

Mr. Trent, come back to NYC soon. We could wreak havoc together if we planned out a shoot, or at least have another great dinner...

In the meantime, I'm gonna go have so more wine.

Cover Star: Vernon Trent at work.
Headlining Band: Those guys from Sacramento, California.

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Surrender

Thank you, Vic and Mr. Kellough...a pleasure as always.

One of the best guitar solos ever played, Mr. Nielsen. And thank you very much!

What was Toby's story about him in some Colorado airport???

"We sound just like Cheap Trick, only the guitars are louder."
- Kurt Cobain

We all liked you except yourself...

Cover Star: CNS.
Headlining Band: Those guys from Rockford, Illinois.

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GBV Reunion

I saw their last NYC show in '04.

I'm there.

Wanna go?

Talk to me...

C'mon! Zoo Pie! I know that you care!

And yeah, I'd love to take a portrait of Bob Pollard -

Cover Star: Fuck Some Pavement.
Headlining Band: Those guys from Dayton, Ohio

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I Will Let You Shout No More

"Smiling with the mouth of the ocean
And I'll wave to you with the arms of the mountain
I'll see you
I will let you shout no more
It's on my head
I'll pick you up from the floor
It's on my head
I'll let you even the score
It's on my head
Give it all to you
Then I'll be closer

Give the same to me, then I'll be closer."

Cover Star: Stacy Leigh & 'friends'.
Headlining Band: Those guys from San Francisco, California

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Nudity

Most of the photographers I know, whether they are fashion photographers or "art" photographers, are too obsessed with female nudity (or in the case of my gay photographer friends, male nudity).

I'm not, even though I get accused of it. A lot. By people that know me really well.

Here's the deal, and I've said this here before:

Just because she's naked, doesn't make it art.

There are a TON of people that will pay girls to take their clothes off. There are a TON of girls that take advantage of that. Good for them - I want to come back as a hot chick. Really. Just for that reason. And the HOT part...

I look for something in a person. I'm not the 'naked photographer' - sorry. I'm not.

I think the female form is beautiful - snore.

I actually try to find vulnerability in a person. And document it. Give ME your soul. TRUST ME.

I'm good like that.

Or I manufacture something. But 9 times out of 10, it's all you.

Unguarded, trusting, and open to having your image, at that moment, recorded (not captured) for life.

Because when you're dead...

It's all that's left. Except for your crap that goes into a dumpster.

And it will.

Cover Star: T.
Headlining Band: Mike Patton and friends

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Carin, Take Me To The Nearest Famous City...

It's random. It's common vs. common. And you can piss in the sink. I think.

I wait for the click, but it doesn't kick in. And I'm not Brick. And I'm not on a hot tin roof. Not now, anyway...

Everything sounds like white noise...

I'm overwhelmed. In our best clothes. All the very best of us string ourselves up for love.

Cover Star: T & A.
Headlining Band: Those guys from Cincinnati, Ohio..

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Leave Your Home. Change Your Name. Live Alone. Eat Your Cake.

I don't even think to make corrections.

Look.

Amber. An outtake from the "Bunnies" and "Chairs" shoot. As nor or on either.

Amber as and on is, however, available, in book form, down there...

Or here.

Afraid of the house? Well, you're desperate to entertain...

Watch.



Cover Star: Amber Dandy
Headlining Band: The National @ BAM.
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It Really Can Be...

...easy.

Turn the lights down, baby.

Cover Star: Candace Fucking Nirvana.
Headlining Band: Faith Fucking No More covering, well, if you don't know who it is, then fuck you.

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Surprise! You're Dead!

Mike Patton. Friday night. And his band. Yeah, Brendan, his band.

See photo below.

One of the most amazing things I've ever seen in this regard:

Ever seen a band that was 10 TIMES BETTER than when they were originally around?

Me neither.

And here's the reason:

Mr. Patton has come into his own in the last 12 years. Fuck some Mr. Bungle. I'm talking about Fantomas, Tomahawk, Mike Patton, etc...

I saw this man do things with his voice on Friday night that astonished me. And that's saying something. I've seen a lot of vocalists.

He's 42 years old. That makes me feel good. He made me feel young.

Thanks mikepatton. And Brendan and Mark and Rich.

"Faith No More" should re-record their entire catalog right now. It sounds dated. But what I experienced Friday night was the future...

Maturity, sometimes, rules.

"I think that too many people think too much about my lyrics. I am more a person who works more with the sound of a word than with its meaning. Often I just choose the words because of the rhythm not because of the meaning"
- Mike Patton

Pardon me, I get excited about good things. Here are two...

Cover Star: Candace Fucking Nirvana.
Headlining Band: Faith Fucking No More

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The Idiot Parade

Cover Star: FNM, Brooklyn, 07/02/10.
Headlining Band: John Hughes

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Quote, Unquote...

"On my way to the boats, the hot dog guy vendor wasn't there. And I cried. Then the next time I was there I bought two hot dogs. And I didn't eat them."

- Von

Everybody stand!

Cover Star: Rael.
Headlining Band: Sly

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