And I Got What Was, And I Want To Take What's Left

Went to B&H today, which is like a narcotic for me. I was just going to buy two more dimmers, since I apparently misplaced one and another is shorting out. Fifty bucks - no problem.

Oh, then I need some film - some Neopan 1600, probably ten rolls. Oh, and since Polaroid is not making film anymore, I should probably get a pack of #672 and #690 - well, maybe two of each. Oh, and some batteries for the Pentax - you can never have enough batteries. Damn those CR2's are expensive - are you sure these are the cheapest ones you have? Oh, and some 120 film - better stock up on 400 speed black and white and color 800. What? You are back-ordered on the 400? Well, just give me double the amount of the color 800.

Anything else? Nah, I think I'm good.

$240.00

Shit.

That's rent money. But fuck it.

I'm here for a reason. And that reason is to listen to Queens Of The Stone Age really fucking loud.

And there's another reason, I suppose. To get the fuck past my fear of failure and get my book out there into the hands of galleries and commercial reps. Which I have not done enough of. I'm all high and mighty about lecturing my fellow photographer friends, but I need to kick myself in the ass and take a note from me.

Just fucking get it done, man. Just get it done. Josh Homme didn't sit on his recordings of "Songs For The Deaf" or I wouldn't be cranking it right now. Word.

He's a really good guitar player.

Been putting a lot of mental energy - between panic attacks - into what to do next. Gotta keep working, gotta keep plugging away...

The self-portrait series is looming, but it's gotta be right, and I mean that in an over-thinking-it kind of way.

Radio Free Europe on the jambox right now.

Just got off the phone with a friend of mine that I've been pushing for quite some time.

He had a breakthrough today and actually produced a script.

I haven't read it yet, but the fact that he did it - finally - is profound. Like he just said to me "Why aren't we famous yet?"

Godamn your confusion.

He's right. And not that "celebrity" is the end goal, with the two of us, it's certainly not, but with all of the "fans" telling each of us how "great" we are - where's the fucking Cadillac?

What a weird word, "Cadillac."

Talk about the passion.

Got an email from Nerve today saying that my blog was too wordy. And they wanted more nudity.

I can fix that. Ignore all the words and just look at this:



Shakti, from a few weeks ago.

Title is from QOTSA's "Song For The Deaf."

Check it out if you get the chance.

Buy the CD. Download it.

Support the artist.